Fear

I write all these things. But can I ever mean them? I hope so, I know I need too. I doubt myself when the pain comes again--whevever solitude feels as if it is on its way.  I'm too scared. And I'm scared because I'm scared. This is a different type of fear--there is no fear of physical safety or mental stability. But it is the same type of fear--the fear of being unwanted. The fear of being second best. Unable to compete. Rebound? 

I hate all of these terms.

But they are accurate. 

Probably because I hate all of this.

-Beaskie