NYE

I can't explain it, but I hate this night. 

I love the idea of moving on and starting a new year, but these nights have been so terrible for me. 

Two years ago the boy and I kissed for the first time, at midnight. 

Last year I tried to kill myself for the first time, at midnight. 

And this year, even though I'm with you, I can't bring myself to be happy. I don't like big parties like this, I feel overwhelmed and in danger somehow. And today is just a bad day, because of the past.

I hope you have fun tonight, I truly do! I just don't know if I will be able to...

I hope you understand. 

-Beaskie

Punishment

I wish you would just punish me.
Punish me already! I deserve it!
If you don't, I'm afraid I'm going to punish myself.
We all know where that leads....

-Beaskie

Normal

Sometimes I just wish I was normal.
That my talent wasn't something this large.
This stressful.

Maybe I could be good at science. Or math.
I could be a writer.
Or a politician.

Sometimes I wish I was normal.

But, where's the fun in that?

-Beaskie