Hummigbird

I've cried of happiness three times in my life.

The first time was one night when the boy was on the phone with me and was telling me all these wonderful things about how we would get married and raise a family and be in love forever.
However, I don't really count that time because after I hung up the phone I started bawling from how absolutely terrified I was of spending the rest of my life with him.

Okay, so I've cried of happiness twice in my life. And they're both because of Flyer.

The first was when he gave me a carving of a Hummingbird for Valentines Day. Not only is it the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, but it was sentimental, too. In my mind, a Hummingbird symbolizes peace, and hope, and possibilities, and warmth, and kindness, and energy, and intelligence, and beauty. This is because in my mind a Hummingbird symbolizes my Grandma. She embodied all these characteristics and more. When she was taken away from me, my mother gave me a Hummingbird necklace. Later on I gave her one too. We always search for Hummingbirds, and they always seem to show up on the right day, at the right time, just when we need her most.

Sometimes, Flyer is my Hummingbird.

The second time I've cried of happiness was just now. Flyer was as well. He said it's never happened to him before. I'm shocked I could be the cause of evoking such powerful emotions.
We spent the day together. We woke up together and had breakfast. He asked me to Prom in the sweetest way possible--putting a giant sign in the quad at our school and then taking me flying over it. We went to a movie with my family.

But for what ever reason, tonight was special. Tonight, the feelings of want turned into need. Tonight I could say "I love you" with out questioning it or being afraid of it. Tonight I realized that he will keep me alive, and I realized that he has been keeping me alive for months now. Tonight I realized that he makes life worth living, and therefore I will keep living it, if only for him.

Every kiss has the same excitement as if it were our first. Every embrace has the same passion as if it were our last. Every touch makes my heart skip a beat. Every look sends blood rushing to my cheeks.

I have never wanted a person this much. I have never loved a person this much.

I want so badly to be a part of him. I want so badly for our bodies to just fuse together and become one. I want to live inside of him where it is safe and warm and no one can ever hurt me because all there is is love coming from him and surrounding me. I want to shrink until I am two inches tall and sleep in the palm of his hand. I want to be two years old so he can hold me like a baby and rock me to sleep. I want to have superpowers so I can kill anything bad that comes within ten billion lightyears of him. I want to keep him forever, and I plan to.

He told me he would teach me what love feels like. He has kept his word.

-Beaskie