Burden

If there's one thing this whole experience has done quite well, it's test the friendships I have to the point of make or break, do or die.

Some did.
And some died.

One of my closest friends in the world has completely turned her back on me. Physically and literally. She constantly says "I'm just too much for her to handle" as her justification for abandoning me when life is just "too much for me to handle". The only thing that will ever bring me out of this black hole is a support network of family and friends. I thought I needed her to get out of this, but recently I've noticed her true colors showing--and I don't like them at all. She has turned into someone who does not take responsibility for her inappropriate actions, who listens to, believes, and spreads rumors about me--no matter how ridiculous--, who asks mutual friends of ours to choose between me and her, and who is able to live with herself, knowing she has abandoned her closest friend in her darkest hour.

It's so common for people to just not want to talk about, or even acknowledge the existence of, issues in the world that are upsetting. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of conversation and acknowledgement and action, out of mind and out of any possibility of being resolved. That's what this friend is doing--along with the rest of the world.

Sorry I'm "too much for you to handle". Don't bother coming to my funeral, which could easily result from this betrayal; I don't want to be a burden.

-Beaskie