All The World's A Stage

I feel so fake.

Fake like plastic.
Fake like make-believe.
Fake like promises no one can keep.

I smile and laugh and converse and socialize and am fake.
I listen and talk and nod my head and am fake.
I text people happy faces and write "lol" and am fake.
I hug people and tell them I missed them and am fake.

I am fake.

It makes the fall so much worse. Maybe I feel like negative five two days in a row. The first day I act like I'm a positive three, and at the end of the day, I only fall eight, so negative five doesn't feel too bad. But the next day I act like a positive fifteen. Then I end up falling twenty, and suddenly negative five feels like hell.

I fell a lot today. I'm tired of being fake.

I do it because it seems to be what people expect of me. My friends expect me to be okay, so "I am okay". My family expects me to be okay, so "I am okay". Even if they don't expect it, they want it. So why not give them what they want?
Oh, I know why not. It makes me fall twenty. That's a long way down.

And a long way down means an even longer way up.

-Beaskie