I Can Hear You

Everybody treats me like a child.

I can't be trusted to stay home alone, says mom. I'm worrying because you've been in bed all day and [apparently] the thought of you staying in bed for the rest of the day is terrifying, says mom. I don't want to leave you here alone like this, says mom. Like what, mom? I'm in my bed. I'm perfectly safe. It's summer. There's no harm in sleeping all day. But no, says mom, I can't be trusted to stay home alone. I'm calling Flyer, says mom. He'll take care of you when you're home alone today. I can trust him. But no, I can't trust you.

I can't be trusted to take my medication on my own, says dad. I'll take care of giving you your medication, and be sure you never take anything more than the right dose, says dad. I won't tell you where the medication is, just for your own protection, says dad. Protection from what, dad? You're not always around when I need something, and it'd be nice if once and a while I could self-diagnose when I need some help fighting off the demons. But no, says dad. I can't be trusted to take my medication on my own. I'll tell mom where I keep the medication. And I'll tell sister where I keep the medication. I can trust them. But no, I can't trust you.

I can't be trusted to be on my own for a week, says brother. I'll make arrangements for your mother to come with you while you stay here, just in case, says brother. Just in case what, brother? I'll be gone from 7 am to 8 pm every day. You'll never even have to see me. But no, says brother. I can't be trusted to be on my own for a week. I'll have mom come with you. I can trust her. But no, I can't trust you.

Everybody treats me like I'm deaf, too.

They all stand around, eyeing me as they carry on with their conversations about how they worry because I can't be trusted to stay home alone and take my medication on my own and to be on my own for a week.

HELLO

I can hear you.
I'm right here.
AND GUESS WHAT
I have a surprise for you.

I can be trusted
     to stay home alone
     to take my medication on my own
     to be on my own for a week

I'm not deaf.
I hear every last word you say.

Stop with the pity-party.
Stop with the "being like this" and the "for your own protection" and the "just in case".
It's all bull shit.

And the fact that you think I haven't noticed, that I haven't caught on.

That's the worst of it all.

-Beaskie