At this point in time, I'm not exactly sure where we stand.
Should we still be friends?
Being brutally honest, you're acting like my old "friends".
Depression is NOT a choice. People who think it is are ignorant and can't help those who need it.
It's not necessarily a bad thing to be ignorant about depression. I wish I was.
I never said I don't care about you. I never said I don't miss you. And I never said I don't love you, so please don't put those words in my mouth. I do care about you, and miss you, and love you. I always will.
I did not manipulate you. Don't flatter yourself. I had no where near the amount of energy and strength it takes to manipulate someone (and trust me, I know what that's like. You were not being manipulated). And I would never do what the boy did to me to someone else. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and you are far from my worst enemy.
I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you lately. But your words have deeply hurt me, and I don't know if you know why. Which just makes it hurt more.
I'm not as well-off as you must think I am. You think it's now your turn to be damaged. I never said you couldn't be damaged, but you need to understand that my battle still isn't over.
I'm still on medication. I'm still infected with this disease that's taken over my life. It takes so much time and patience to eradicate it completely, and I'm fragile still. I'm sorry if I mislead you in believing that I was fine. Don't get me wrong, I am exponentially better than I was last year.
But that doesn't mean I'm 100% again. I truly wish I was, for the both of us.
Some of the ideas you hold, I'm not sure where they came from. I don't remember lying to you, I don't remember judging you. I do remember pushing you away--just like I pushed everyone away--and I apologize for that. Honestly, I do.
Maybe right now, we aren't good for each other. But maybe right now, we are all each other needs.
I have no idea.
Do you?
-Beaskie
Should we still be friends?
Being brutally honest, you're acting like my old "friends".
Depression is NOT a choice. People who think it is are ignorant and can't help those who need it.
It's not necessarily a bad thing to be ignorant about depression. I wish I was.
I never said I don't care about you. I never said I don't miss you. And I never said I don't love you, so please don't put those words in my mouth. I do care about you, and miss you, and love you. I always will.
I did not manipulate you. Don't flatter yourself. I had no where near the amount of energy and strength it takes to manipulate someone (and trust me, I know what that's like. You were not being manipulated). And I would never do what the boy did to me to someone else. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and you are far from my worst enemy.
I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you lately. But your words have deeply hurt me, and I don't know if you know why. Which just makes it hurt more.
I'm not as well-off as you must think I am. You think it's now your turn to be damaged. I never said you couldn't be damaged, but you need to understand that my battle still isn't over.
I'm still on medication. I'm still infected with this disease that's taken over my life. It takes so much time and patience to eradicate it completely, and I'm fragile still. I'm sorry if I mislead you in believing that I was fine. Don't get me wrong, I am exponentially better than I was last year.
But that doesn't mean I'm 100% again. I truly wish I was, for the both of us.
Some of the ideas you hold, I'm not sure where they came from. I don't remember lying to you, I don't remember judging you. I do remember pushing you away--just like I pushed everyone away--and I apologize for that. Honestly, I do.
Maybe right now, we aren't good for each other. But maybe right now, we are all each other needs.
I have no idea.
Do you?
-Beaskie
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