Today

Today I finally understood what all the commotion about this thing called "love" really is.
Because I felt it.

Not that I haven't felt love towards you before--quite the opposite. But in this single moment, a moment of passion and truth and vulnerability and togetherness, it was overwhelming. It was startling. It was so intense, so engulfing, so real, so pure. It was devotion. It was desperate. It was everything. It was undeniably what "love" actually is.

All thoughts of hopelessness, all thoughts of self harm, all thoughts of a desired end to my life have vanished. Because of this moment we shared. Because of today.

I'm crying right now, just thinking about this.

Just thinking about today.

This was real. Nothing before has completely erased all the godawful thoughts in my head. Nothing.

But today, I realized that they are gone. Completely.

That is more than relief. That is more than happy. That means more than everything, because it saved everything. You saved everything. Today saved everything.

Now I can do this. With out a doubt. I haven't gotten out of the darkness yet, but now I believe that it is possible.

I will live. Just in hope that I can feel what we felt today again. And again. And again.

Today changed everything.

You have saved my life.


I love you.

-Beaskie