Movies

You can look through someone else's pictures and feel like you're watching a movie. You've probably seen the movie before, if you know the person, or used to know them. And maybe it's a new movie if you've never met them. But after you watch, you feel like you've learned something about the person, even if it's just what they look like.

But when you look through your own pictures, are you watching a movie? I feel like I am. I do it a lot. Because it feels weird, watching a movie of yourself. Every time I watch it, I don't really feel like I learned anything, not even what I look like. No matter how many times I watch it, the movie never seems familiar. Redundant, yes. But not familiar.

Maybe everybody feels this way.

If only I could make my life a movie. But I don't want to be the main character, I just want to watch. Because the main character always has to be the one to figure out how to make the ending happy and make everything come together perfectly because that's what makes a good movie. But somebody watching never has to work to make the ending good because they know it will just happen. They feel like they want to help, they brainstorm ways to make everything fall together perfectly, but they always know that they don't have to actually do anything, because the main character will do that for them and the watchers just get to sit back and enjoy the happy ending they had no part in creating.

If only I could just watch my own movie. It would be like living without the risk. I can try to live in the main character, but there is never any risk because I'm not the one making the story happen.

But if I were to watch, who would play me?

-Beaskie