My Bittersweet Muse

I wish you knew.

Yesterday I said to myself “I love my life”
I chuckled
Today I almost ran away
I panicked

I don’t deserve this

You don’t understand
How you can want something so little
And need it so much
You couldn’t

You need someone
Who is more... you

I move
You make sound
We compliment each other
We don’t need each other

I wish someone needed me.

What I’m saying is I wish I had the courage to tell you.

Courage.

The capability to live with a bittersweet life.

Sometimes I hate me when I’m with you.
Not good.

It’s been over a week since I’ve cried.
Not good.

I have big goals
I have little goals
I still have no direction, no sense of self, no true beacon, no consistent muse.

Where does all of this leave us?
I wish someone could answer that.
I wish someone would figure it out for me.
I wish you’d just...